CREATING HEALTHY MARRIAGES PART 3
Posted On 2013-03-17 06:39:45
Occasionally I see couples who spend time in their session trying to establish who was to blame for their recent argument. As we work on their problem it becomes clear that they are suffering from what I refer to as the crime and punishment model of relationship. Healthy relationships are not based on blame or punishment, they are focused on respect and safety. We cannot establish healthy communication if we are continuously operating in an environment of mistrust and defensiveness.
Have you ever wondered what that feeling of self protection which comes up in arguments is really protecting? Do you feel safer when you blame, criticize or defend? Probably not, because when we do this we are really defending our own feelings of powerlessness or self criticism. Strong relationships depend on our ability to establish a feeling of confidence and respect within in order to treat our partner with respect and kindness.
Therapy looks at our inner world to help establish a more compassionate and accepting self concept. Through the safety of our open heart we can become more loving and kind in our communication with others. There is no safety or shelter in a relationship based on constantly defending ourselves or blaming our partner. Try looking inside at the self judgments and self criticism to better understand your defensive behavior. If you would like to explore these ideas further fell free to contact us @ www.professionalcounselingpiedmontva.com or by phone @ 540-825-2788.
Have you ever wondered what that feeling of self protection which comes up in arguments is really protecting? Do you feel safer when you blame, criticize or defend? Probably not, because when we do this we are really defending our own feelings of powerlessness or self criticism. Strong relationships depend on our ability to establish a feeling of confidence and respect within in order to treat our partner with respect and kindness.
Therapy looks at our inner world to help establish a more compassionate and accepting self concept. Through the safety of our open heart we can become more loving and kind in our communication with others. There is no safety or shelter in a relationship based on constantly defending ourselves or blaming our partner. Try looking inside at the self judgments and self criticism to better understand your defensive behavior. If you would like to explore these ideas further fell free to contact us @ www.professionalcounselingpiedmontva.com or by phone @ 540-825-2788.
Keywords: therapy counselor marriage therapist psychotherapy
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